The Ten-Year Nap

I owned this book for a long time before I read it. I thought it would be harsh towards stay-at-home moms, as the title "the Ten-year nap" has a negative connotation. I have been a stay-at-home mom for 11 years, but I have recently been hired for a full time postion, so I thought maybe it was time to read the book. I'm glad I did. Although, I don't love the book and won't re-read it, I will pass it along to somebody who may enjoy it. I felt the author was kind to her characters, she didn't judge them but let them be themselves.I'm not sure this is a book everyone will be able to relate to. Most of the characters were upper middle class, and although there were a few who were not, they were very minor characters, although their point of view did add to the book. There was very little from the male perspective, although there was a part written from the point of view of Amy's father that was very enlightening and made me understand her a bit more (she was like her dad in some ways).I do think that this book sheds some light on the so called "mommy wars". Although her characters sometimes are unkind and judge each other, by dealing with her characters in a mostly kind and non-judgemental way and by presenting each person as a unique individual Wolitzer does take a stand. We should deal with each other in a kind and non-judgemental and individual way.I still dislike the title, although perhaps it is meant to be ironic. Although sometimes it seems as if staying home to raise one's kids is like taking a nap from the real world, it really isn't. Caring for children is meaningful work. And speaking for myself, I have developed skills and expertise in a variety of areas (child and non-child related) during the time I've been a stay-at-home mom. I would have liked to have seen some of the characters have interests and hobbies that they'd developed over the years. Work and child-raising aren't the only things in life and a person who has a career for a decade who has not developed in any area besides work would have a "10 year nap" too, I would think!

It's been a while since I've reviewed anything on Amazon but I just wanted to say how much I loved this book. I devoured it in a weekend and found myself stopping my husband in whatever he was doing to read him random bits and snippets, mostly because Meg Wolitzer so perfectly summed up so many of the sentiments I myself had felt during the years I stayed home with my kids.For example, there's a passage near the beginning where one of the characters talks about picking up a newspaper like the New YOrk Times and reading yet another profile of a high-powered women who "does it all." And Meg Wolitzer writes (I'm paraphrasing) that 'she wished there was something like an asterisk at the end of the article which referred you to a box at the bottom of the page which explained the backstory, what the real deal was.' And that's EXACTLY how I felt the whole time I was trying to juggle life in the foreign service with raising little kids and being pregnant. Everytime I caught a glimmer of someone who somehow or other effortlessly did it all, you'd start to talk to them and they'd say something like "Well, actually it was easy. You see, my mother had recently retired and she was widowed so she moved to Botswana for eight years and watched my kids for me while I climbed up through the ranks to become Ambassador" or "Well, actually they're my stepchildren. My husband is actually forty years older than I am, so by the time I became a "mom", the kids had already graduated from college" or something.There are just these little MOMENTS throughout the book where I found myself exclaiming "yes, yes. she really understands. I'm not alone. I'm not crazy." Another example -- she describes the insecure mom picking up the child at school and the child is in first grade and the mom finds herself checking out all the books the other kids are reading, trying to figure out if her child is where she should be in her reading. It's like we all do these things but never admit them, and then Meg Wolitzer comes along and writes this book -- and you realize it's not just you.I really hope this book gets people talking -- especially the dialogue between the main character and her earnest Canadian feminist mother who can't understand how the women's movement could have ended up at this point. This is just a great book!

Clearly, Wolitzer is a writer. Her turn of phrase is beautiful and there are times when she perfectly describes motherhood in ways that make you want to copy it down and put it on the fridge. However, I could not commit to a book where the structure is a meandering, musing, retrospective narrative with very little active plot.100 pages in, I put it down and doubt I will pick it up again.Basically, you meet various mothers and they muse upon their entire history before children, then they think about the early years and their entrance into motherhood, and then they think about their current situation (with which they are dissatisfied--this is not a feel good book per se).The tag line for this book could be "I'm a mother, therefore I think and think and think and think and am unhappy."The whole book is one big retrospective thought.I really don't care if a character failed graduate school, or if a lawyer was ambivalent about law neither of these things appeared to be relevant to me as a reader.Then there's a bizarre detour into the life of Margaret Thatcher's assistant and Thatcher's views on feminism.Then another bizarre detour where the women of the previous generation invite a guidance counselor to their home to show them her genitalia.And then we're back to the present world where one of the moms confides to one of the other moms that she's having an affair.Huh?I couldn't find the connection, the common thread that linked all of this into an active plot and ultimately I lost interest in continuing to try.Also, as a new stay-at-home-mom myself who gave up a promising career, I hope there's more to being a mom than being lost and adrift in a sea of low self-esteem ten years from now. Talk about a downer, this book really has nothing good to say.M

As a stay at home mom myself, I was expecting this to be generally more interesting and relatable. I found the whole novel rather dull and characters uninteresting or unlikeable. This is my second Meg Wolitzer novel and I had mixed feelings with her previous work too, even though I really wanted to like her.

Have loved this author for a long time. This book does not disappoint. Same beautiful prose you expect from Meg Wolitzer.

I really enjoyed reading this book and as bloke in his late forties that might be surprising. It is a well written easy book to read. If you have had kids you will recognise yourself in here. It is a sort of Nick Hornby for girls.Although set in New York written by a Canadienne/australian it is not at all irritatingMy wife enjoyed it I will buy it for my sister

...wieder ein Titel von Meg Wollitzer der mich am Ende etwas enttäuscht hat. Ja, ein realistischer Ansatz und vermutlich auch immer noch gültiger Umgang mit Frauen in Baby Pause, am Ende für mich zu viel erwartbare und oberflächliche Figuren...schade

I like the writer and I liked this book. I think mostly mothers, either of young children or grown children, would particularly like this novel as it is about balancing motherhood and work or other dreams and plans of mothers (always an issue for any mother I think)